Parents teach us to love our siblings and friends. Religion teaches us to love fellow humans, as we love ourselves. But no one teaches us how to love ourselves. In fact, from childhood, we are presented with goals to aspire to, that we believe will make us more lovable. And when we fail, we are left feeling inadequate and unlovable. As we grow, we face conditions and checklists drawn up by teachers, employers, partners, children and society at large, and off we go, eager to meet the expectations of everyone around us. We struggle to tick all these boxes, often succeeding but feeling joyless, hollow and still unloved. We have not been given a moment to explore who we are, what we want for ourselves, what nourishes our souls. And therefore, in being true to someone else’s checklist, we end up being untrue to ourselves. We lose ourselves.

Let’s course-correct, save ourselves some time and a whole lot of emptiness. Finding our way back to our authentic selves may not be easy, but it is massively rewarding. The journey to discovering ourselves begins with offloading all the expectations that we have crammed inside our beings. We need to make room in our hearts and minds for ourselves. We need to be able to discover who we are, explore and find what brings us joy, purpose and meaning. And once we have done that, we need to allow ourselves to pursue it single-mindedly. That is self-love and the only way to get there is by living authentically and being true to ourselves.

India has always philosophised that love is a powerful and positive energy that enables a healthy balance between mind, body and spirit. It births a deep sense of worth, without which we are unable to truly receive or give love to another. We find it much easier to love our children unconditionally, but for ourselves, we reserve tough love.

Let’s silence the inner critic and start being kind to ourselves. Let us allow all those scars of self-doubt and inadequacy to heal and learn to love ourselves. A deep sense of harmony is created when we connect with and prioritise ourselves. Only then, are we able to offer the best version of ourselves to others. Start today, celebrate your accomplishments, spend time by yourself doing what you love, stop focusing on what you don’t like about yourself and appreciate the things that you do, and steer clear of people who bring you down. Begin the romance of a lifetime by writing a love note to yourself. You will find yourself looking and feeling differently. Because finally you have the attention of the one person who has been ignoring you your entire life. You.